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Current Affairs

May 28, 2009

And now the conclusion to our story!

In case those tuning in missed out on yesterday's fun,

Just click on this here link and read over Part One.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reacting to the nurse's words, I drove Sprite in to be seen,

Even though of an expensive co-pay, I wasn't really keen.

She wasn't crying anymore, but her hands remained clasped tight,

Never moving from their eternal post at her belly button site.

She still refused to walk and stand when we got to the parking lot,

So, I carried her in and registered my mysteriously broken tot.

Yet, once the bracelet was applied and we were in the waiting room,

Her gray cloud disappeared and took with it the haze of gloom.

She started chattering excitedly, looking around in glee,

And taking a few steps at a time, between the chairs and me.

As soon as the triage nurse called for Sprite's name,

Sprite jumped up and smiled broad, was this some kind of game?

When the nurse tried to examine her, she started bouncing about,

The nursed glanced back at me patiently, taking in my look of doubt.

"Don't worry, you're not jumping the gun, she should still be seen,

These symptoms you've described should be checked, her bill of health marked clean."

We were taken to the exam area, where John found us soon,

And listened with amazement (and a little relief) to Sprite's happy tune.

She no longer resembled the sad little waif I had described on the call,

In fact, she was jumping on the hospital bed, not looking sick at all.

The doctor ordered an X-Ray and a catheter to get pee,

Yet, now all of these tests no longer seemed needed to me.

We described what we had seen and heard and what we knew as fact,

While thinking somewhere deep down in that this may have been an act.

Finally, the doctor returned with an X-Ray and the scoop,

"All this white stuff that you see? Is a few days worth of poop."

And as she explained the interior of Sprite's intestinal map,

John turned to his treasured girl and quipped, "Kid, you're full of crap."

"An enema for now," the doctor said, "and the rest in time will pass,"

As John thought of the expected bill, "That is some expensive gas."

The nurse brought in the torture device and began her intrusion,

As Sprite held onto John's neck, screaming with shock and confusion.

To add insult to injury, she had to walk the corridor,

For the stuff to work even better, I helped her pace the floor.

For a few minutes, it was a grand ole time, she had a cheery greeting,

For every patient we passed on the ER floor, every child she was meeting.

Until it happened, quick as a shot, a wave of fear passed through my pup,

And she held up her arms, her eyes wide in alarm, and shouted at me, "Up!"

I somehow got her back to base and knelt down in front of her,

And opened my arms for my poor little girl whose insides began to stir.

The noise made quite a symphony, and John thought I was daft,

Because it struck me as funny, and I laughed and laughed and laughed.

All the while, Sprite held on, her knuckles surely white,

Us both in tears for different reasons, we must have been a sight.

Finally, the explosion passed, and she relaxed in quiet relief,

Happy to get the poop party started, thankful the hurt was brief.

An ER trip, enema, and blocked up bowels, three milestones all in one,

Who knew that this trifecta of firsts would be so much fun?

So to sum up my epic poem and find closure to the frustration,

She went in with possible! appendicitis, and walked out with constipation.

Our night was over before it began, and we made our weary way home,

Sprite to bed, John to WoW, and me to this here poem.

So my friends, that is all there is to this tale of woe,

We may have missed Must See TV, but we definitely got a show.

(Yes, she's feeling much better now. Sprite was back to her usual shenanigans the very next morning.)

May 27, 2009

It was a quiet afternoon...

When the call came my way,

"Our Sprite isn't feeling quite herself today.

She's refusing to walk and she won't stand up straight,

And when we offered her a snack, she wouldn't touch her plate.

She's now lying on her side and crying out in pain,

And her face is getting red from the emotional strain.

We'd really like it if you would come and have a say."

I shut down my desk, grabbed my purse, and said, "I'm on my way."

As I headed over, I placed a call to John,

And we pondered together over what could have harmed our spawn.*

I hurried through the daycare and rushed into the space,

And immediately zoned in on her flushed little face.

Her teacher sat close by, rubbing circles on her back,

As they sat sequestered from the rest of the toddler pack.

"She's been saying something hurts in her tummy-tum-tum,

And she just won't get up off her bummy-bum-bum." **

We both agreed quite readily that something wasn't right,

This sad whimpering urchin was not our spunky little Sprite.

I knew that I should get her to the doctor really soon,

As I carried my child out into the late afternoon.

I quickly got in touch with the nurse on call,

I took a breath, said a prayer, and then I told her all.

The pain and the crying, her doubled over gait,

Her unwillingness to walk or even move as of late.

And she wouldn't let me feel her stomach, her hands stayed on guard,

But when I snuck a quick touch in, her belly felt quite hard.

I told myself it was nothing as the nurse took quiet stock,

And what she asked me next gave me a small shock.

"Is appendicitis in your family history?"

I paused a bit, and answered yes for my mother and for me. ***

"Well, it could be small, it could be big, I hope you're not too far,

You're going to need to bring her in, but right to the ER."

I kept driving on, passing the street to our house,

As I calmed the child and placed a call to the waiting spouse.

And even though a meal and sleep never looked so inviting,

I knew the night ahead promised to be more exciting.

Well, right now I'm tired, and I'm sure so are you,

So come back tomorrow morning and I'll tell you Part Two. ****

* I mean spawn in the nicest way, but hey! It rhymed!
** Her statement may have been taken a little bit out of context, but the gist is the same.
*** My mom had her appendix removed some years ago and I had an inflamed appendix which they decided not to remove. I didn't think appendicitis was hereditary, but apparently, the nurse thought it was.
**** You have to admit, the poem is running a little long. *****
***** Yeah, I'm a stinker...

May 25, 2009

On This Memorial Day,

I originally posted this on May 26, 2008 for Memorial Day and it still resonates with me. To all the men and women who fought and won, fought and lost, and those who are still fighting, thank you!

Take A Moment.

Before you grab your gear and race to the beach, take a moment.

Before you spend your day frolicking in the sun, take a moment.

Before you fight with your husband about the price of gas, take a moment.

Before you take the time to visit with your loved ones, take a moment.

Before you stuff that hot dog into your mouth, take a moment. (Then take a Zantac.) (Sorry, couldn't keep the snark out. Trying, honest!)

Take a moment to remember why you're off from work today.

Take a moment to remember who you are and where you live.

Take a moment to remember those who sacrificed their lives to give you your freedom.

Take a moment to sympathize/commiserate with those who are grieving or celebrating the brave ones we are to honor today.

Happy Memorial Day and a heartfelt thanks to those who are still out there defending us and our freedom. My hope is to celebrate you on Veteran's Day.

April 29, 2009

30,000 feet is not an ideal location to face my fears.

John: "Would you like a seat on the wing or aisle?"

Me: "How about in a car? Do they have one of those?"

I haven't been on a plane since 2000. That summer, I went to Hawaii for the second time to see my sister, this last time dragging a willing John with me. By the time we were ready to board the flight over to Honolulu however, I was near hyperventilation.

I remember John staring at me, asking if I would be okay, and in response, I showed him the two sleeping pills I had packed in my purse, to be consumed the moment boarding started.

The flights went well, both to and from, although in my mind, they were far from perfect. The slight turbulence was a sign of imminent danger. An overhead compartment which hadn't been closed properly, sprang open and deposited a large backpack onto a passenger's head. This, to me at least, was an omen of things to come. Nothing happened. I slept fitfully throughout the long flights, and made it back onto solid ground with nary a hair out of place. (Although frizzy hair may look out of place to others, I actually considered it a good hair day.)

Back then, I summed my anxiety up to a fear of heights, something which had only begun plaguing me in my early twenties. My fear extended to balconies, bridges, and any high places where the lobby wasn't within sight. This fear still exists now as I am unable to stand too close to a railing without feeling as if I'm about to pitch forward and takes me a while to get comfortable when I'm positioned anywhere elevated.

Now, this fear of mine doesn't just involve heights, it involves control. I never like to be in any situation where the control is not in my hands. I do not have a "devil may care" personality, nor do I like to "take life by the horns", because the possibility of injury or death scares me too much.

Yes, I am afraid of death. Even the thought of my possible demise scares me. I'm sure there will not be pain, but I don't want there to be "nothing. This is it. Game over. You're done. You've had your turn. There are no do overs, Charlie Brown." This is where religion helps others some, but me and my scientific brain are not easily convinced with hearsay and theory. We like the tried and true money back refund if you're not satisfied, but I don't believe death even has a customer service department, let alone a guarantee. Sure, I can say what I hope will happen when my ticket is up, that I get to keep tabs on those I love, haunt those I don't, and maybe skip back and put a little gloss on those blunders I would rather forget, but you just don't know. My friend Robin and I recently had a conversation about it, and her answer on why she's not afraid of death was "I'd rather be wrong than right" when I questioned her belief in the hereafter. I love her reasoning and would love nothing better than to get on board with it, but my inane desire to be right would probably not be squelched.

So, I decided, way before the economy and terrorism put their two cents in on the matter, that I would never again step onto a plane. It was that simple. When people tried to make plans with us, I would give a noncommittal "maybe" and then point the finger at money, timeliness, or the Northern Lights as to why we would be unable to fly up, down, or over.

John, showing me just how much patience he had, compromised a lot when we made travel plans, sticking to areas like Orlando or St. Augustine so the drive wouldn't kill us. Over the years, he eventually stopped asking if I would ever work up the courage to fly again. 

But then..

Back in the beginning of the year, fellow bloggers decided to join up for a weekend of hedonism in Colorado and I REALLY wanted to go, not only because I admired these women so much from what I had read about them, but also because Colorado just looks beautiful, I had never been, and damn it! I needed a vacation. Away from John and Sprite. So it would remind me of how much I love them... yeah. That's it..

I immediately looked into booking train tickets. I know. Insane. John told me so for months. But now I DO know that it takes 36 hours to get from Fort Myers to Denver. For a weekend getaway. At the rate I was going, my three day weekend was turning into a one week road trip with ample opportunity for pictures (of passing trees) and I was actually okay with that since my logical side had already decided to take a sabbatical, or I'm sure she would have put her two cents in. (I hear she should be back in a few years, although the "for rent" sign where this logic was is a little tacky.)

John finally put his foot down (by way of his mouse and endless Googling on my behalf) and told me I would fly or I just wouldn't go because I was making myself (and him) a little batty.

Well, as the Recession and prices indicated, these plans were canceled, and I was secretly relieved that I wouldn't have to cop out due to my own stupid fears and loudly blamed it on the economy with the rest of the bloggers who had shown interest.

Then another plan came about. While hashing out these possibilities, I found out that Jen from Steenky Bee also had a fear of flying, so we agreed to come out of hiding together. We also agreed we would face our fears together, even if it's on separate flights. (Besides, Jenbo owes me a shirt.) (And after flying all this way, she'll owe me a hug too.)

I am going to get on a plane. It's done. My ticket is booked. John threatened warned me that there is no turning back now. I am going to climb into a metal tube and hope that between take off and landing, the plan doesn't need to make an unscheduled stop. I am going to pick up a prescription for Valium or Merlot, whichever takes the edge off the easiest, so the other passengers aren't eying me for drugs or insanity. And I will do my best to not scream out "We're going to die!" every time we hit an aerial pot hole or some other nonsense. (John thinks that with training, we can turn that go-to "We're going to die!" into an "Oopsie!", kind of like when we replace certain words with "sugar" or "shnikes". I'm sure this will draw looks, but John said these looks will at least not come with restraints.)

Thanks to John finding me a direct flight both ways to limit the amount of times I have to do this, I will arrive in Chicago and arrive back home with only my hair as an indication of my frizzy thoughts. (Somehow, he reasoned that my fear may hamper my quick thinking during layovers and having to get from one gate to another gate forty minutes ago and even the possible "John, can you pick me up? I'm in Tulsa." scenario which would not be pretty. For me. Or Tulsa, I reckon.)

I am giving up control. I am facing my fear(s).


I'm Going to BlogHer '09

Will I see you there?

February 05, 2009

Remote Control Confessional

(First things first: You only have until 12:01AM Saturday morning to get your comment in for the fabulous quilt give away! Nothing else like it in the world! Do it now!)

Since the beginning of the "Movement of Self-Awareness" (at least, that's what I call it), TV has become the public foe and secret friend of parents everywhere.

(I still find the irony funny that you weren't giving your infant the head start they needed if you didn't buy "Baby Einstein" DVD's in the 90's. Now, you're rotting their brains if you place them in their bouncy seats for a half hour or classical music and bright colors.)

The American Academy of Pediatrics has been telling parents to reduce TV time for their kids or else their kids will have more problems behaviorally, academically, and physically. (Of course their studies were based on homes where 2/3 of the children involved had TV sets in their own rooms.) The study said to get the kids outside. Play more. Interact with others more. Yeah, I can jive with that.

But, (And everyone has one.)

When did this reduction of TV time hit the other extreme and become the taboo subject among parents? Now, it seems the less TV you allow, the better a parent you are. (Or maybe that's just the way I've been reading it and this entire post is just a reaction of my overly sensitive defense mechanism. There's that too..)

When I tune into a blog these days, the biggies and the not-so-biggies, parents will talk about their child's favorite shows, but follow this information up with the disclaimer chaser "but we only let her watch about 30 minutes a day" or "he gets one cartoon segment and then the set goes off" or "my little Billy has never seen a commercial in his life!". There are alsothose parents who proclaim proudly that they don't even have a TV. (I'd be driving by their house to look for evidence of a satellite dish to back that statement up, but that's just me.) I admire these folks, sincerely I do. But I have a hard time believing things are as strictly enforced as they're saying.

Therefore I am going to lay my life(style) on the line. Here is my admission on TV time for Sprite:

On the way to daycare, her DVD player gets turned on. Why? Morning rush hour is hard enough without a screaming toddler demanding a cheese stick every five seconds. (Yeah, the cheese stick thing. For some reason, the kid likes cheese, especially in stick form. Dairy Counsel has nothing to worry about when it comes to her daily milk ingestion.) It's easier for me to focus on the crazies around me rather than the potential crazy in my backseat as I navigate the road, my coffee cup, my breakfast, my phone, my iPod, my reading, and my cat. (I kid!)( I don't have a cat.) TV time: 30 minutes.

On the way home, I sometimes try to engage her in conversation as I encounter the same crazies again, only this time they've all been through as hectic a day as I have, their blood sugar levels are a little more precarious, and their attitudes a little less forgiving. Our talking lasts about a minute before she throws another cheese stick demand into the front seat. (Oh, and sometimes? She'll switch it up and ask for a cookie! Keeps me on my toes, that one!) On the DVD goes. What's playing? Eh, Curious George, Cinderella, Leapfrog educational DVD that ended up in our collection somehow and is actually kinda cute, whatever seems to be playing. TV time: 45-60 minutes. (If everyone would get the hell out of my way, that time would be much lower, but I don't think the excuse of reducing my daughter's TV time would hold up for running a red light... Should I try it?)

Once we get home, dinner needs to be made. (Or nuked. Most likely nuked.) (See? I'm being honest.)The TV goes on and Imagination Movers or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse get pulled from our DVR's memory to distract her so I can let the dogs out, work my way around the kitchen, and maybe switch a load of laundry out. Granted, her attention does not stay on the show after a few minutes. She generally loses interest and wanders into her room, hunts for Blue or Harry, or tries to scale the kitchen cabinets, so TV time: 30 minutes, give or take 25 minutes. (You think I'm going to count the parts where she's in her room or interrogating a canine? Pfft!)

My big rule with the TV? When dinner is on the table, the set is either off or the show is paused. John is usually still at work during dinner time on the weekdays, so this is the one rule I keep. It's hard enough to keep Sprite's attention on the meal when dogs are looking for a handout or she thinks dipping her fingers in her milk cup and then sucking the drips off her fingers is just the COOLEST THING EVER I BET SHE LEARNED THAT AT DAYCARE!, so why do I want to compete against Mickey instructing us to count ducks while I readdress our latest discussion on "Green Beans: Good for the mouth, not for the floor"?

Sometimes, on those days where my energy level is low, and dinner only makes me more tired, I will cave in (after the meal is done and the clean up crew is working) to a request for Sleeping Beauty. TV time: roughly 30 minutes.

Our weekends are a crap shoot. Sometimes, our schedule is so jam packed with park trips, visiting relatives (both here and elsewhere), play dates, and errands that the TV never gets a first glance. Sometimes, we have nothing but time on our hands and decide a Disney movie is just what we need to start the day off. It varies.

So there you have it. My two year old gets about two and a half hours worth of exposure to the demon tube in a day's time. (I'm even being generous with the parts of the day where it's just on, whether or not she's focused on it.) The recommended guideline for children and TV says it should be an hour per year or under two hours total. Result: I fail.

I still consider myself to be a good mom. I color with her, play with her, talk to her, and read to her almost every night. She hates to see me leave her in the mornings, hugs me tight when I pick her up, and even grants me kisses once in a while.

Am I mother of the year? Hell, no. I don't even think I'm registered to vote in that election. But the fact that I let my daughter get some time in front of the electronic babysitter shouldn't have other parents reaching for their soapboxes to add some height to their scorn for my decisions on how much TV my child is allowed to see.

I've been wanting to address this for a while. The final straw came for me when I was approached by another mother at Sprite's daycare who thought it was so cute that Sprite liked to sing "Once Upon a Dream" from her favorite Disney flick, but expressed some concern that maybe Sprite was watching it too much since she seemed to know the words so much better than a two year old should. It took all the control I had to reign my snark in, even though my answer would have shut her barely disguised criticism down quickly. This mother did not know that Sprite happens to like the song so much because John and I sing it to her often (not because we're brainwashing her with repeated showings until she knows the stupid movie word for word) and I really didn't feel the need to explain myself or my parenting skills. Although I could have easily slipped it in when Sprite came up to me right then and demanded, "Mommy! Sing 'I know you'!"

I know I'm not alone in this. I know there are moms and dads out there who allow more TV time than we do. I know there are those who allow less. I want confessions. I don't want "Here's what you should do" and "Here's what you're doing wrong", I want an honest answer on how much TV you allow for your kid(s). Just be honest. Get it off your chest. And if you don't have kids, how much TV do you allow for yourself?

How do you HONESTLY feel about it? Should it be less? Maybe more?

Maybe, again, I'm just reading way too much into this. Or maybe I'm just in love with the word "honestly" today. Could I have peppered this post any more liberally with it?

And hey! Today marks 365 days of posting! I think I may take Sunday off!

January 22, 2009

Tales From a First (Play) Date

Nothing says "Happy New Year!" like a jury summons.

Today, I get to join the rest of the lottery winners (who don't feel like winners) and wait for either my name to be called to serve on a jury of my peers or get sent home (or back to work) to wait for my name to come up in the pickings again. (Meh. Usually, once they find out I have a Criminal Justice degree, they throw me back anyway. For some reason, they don't like people who understand the law to serve on juries.)

So, while I'm sequestered away from my laptop and other such media outlets, I'm going to share a story with you.

I've got time. Do you?

About three months ago, I was in the produce section of a local Publix with Sprite and John and noticed a little girl with the most gorgeous curls. Shirley Temple has nothing on this little girl's tresses and SHE had professional help. Anyway, the tot and her younger sister looked very familiar. Then I noticed her mother.

"Rachel?" I asked, hoping that she wouldn't think I was a stalker.

She looked over and I could see her briefly trying to place me. Then she saw Sprite. "Oh, hi!"

Two blogs had just gone live.

Rachel and I had been blogging buddies for a while now, and we knew we lived close to each other, we just didn't know how close. Question answered.

We introduced the girls to each other. Sprite, Elizabeth, and Lilli threw any notions of shyness and began showing off their jumping skills to each other near the bananas as we promised to try for a play date soon, but time was short due to the upcoming holidays.

The holidays came. The holidays went. No plans were made. (I am so bad at that.)

December turned into January and any excuses just didn't count anymore. What was I going to do? Wait until Arbor Day to finally announce the holidays as over? I was nervous about asking for a play date. (I swear, asking for a first play date feels like asking for a date. I was all nerves, thinking, Sure, she thinks she knows me from the site. But this is like blogging in 3-D! What if she thinks I'm a full on Monet? The site is nice and all, but up close? Jen is a big old mess! Quick! Which movie did I swipe that quote from?) I sent her a message on Facebook (because asking for a play date in her comments section? Comes off a bit tacky and what if she says no? My self confidence couldn't handle that type of rejection.) and we made plans for last Friday evening to meet up with the girls for some dinner and a stroll to the playground mere steps away.

DSC04537 

Guess which one is Sprite? No, really! Just guess! Lilli, the one year old who thinks she's three (I think I may have mentioned at least a thousand times that night about how astonished I was with her maturity), is on the left. Of course, Miss Elizabeth with the golden curls is the one in the middle, and was the ringleader of this threesome as they navigated the smaller kids section of the playground and then laid claim to the bigger slides and climbing apparati.

DSC04585 

The girls hit it off in the best way, no fighting. Okay, maybe Sprite pushed Elizabeth off the whale statue, but she apologized promptly. (Or that could be read, she apologized after being prompted, but she DID apologize.) Cookies and milk were enjoyed in the undercover play area of a local outlet mall, which for some reason had the fans on, despite the temperatures dipping into the 40's. (Hey, it's THEIR electric bill, not mine.)

Rachel and I hit it off as well, (which I think is just as important for a successful play date, even as important as the kids liking each other) talking about everything from blogging to living in SW Florida to World of Warcraft (she's for, I'm against) to common interests. By the end of this night, not only had Sprite made two friends, I had made one myself.

She also helped me with understanding my daughter. Sprite was sitting in the play car, singing something incomprehensible. I just stood there, trying to gain a handle on what she was singing, when Rachel came over and said "I know that song." She then started singing it with Sprite. "Mr. Sun, Sun, Mr. Golden Sun..." She then told me where it was from. Barney.

Folks, I don't do Barney. There is nothing remotely Barney related in my home. I even think I signed a clause in my daycare contract banning any Barney-like substances or songs to be presented to my child. I may need to have a talk with her teachers...

DSC04558 

(Sorry, I had to include this picture of the girls drinking their milk, since Lilli's expression had me laughing. And again, I have to notice the obvious differences between the kids. Here you have two fair haired little angels and the exact opposite. Sorry, my kid sticks out.)

DSC04564 

While Rachel did her own send up of the play date, I'm hoping this post will tell her we are definitely interested in a repeat.

And maybe this time, we'll leave the kids at home.

December 24, 2008

Sweetest Thing I've Read All Day

Click here for proof that some corporations ARE kind.

September 26, 2008

Slam Dunk

As heard in the bedroom while watching the Presidential Debates:

John: My team leader complimented me today.

Me: Oh, really?

John: Yeah, she called me a go-getter.

Me: So what did you go get her?

-Aaannnd scene.

September 03, 2008

A Slap in the Facebook

When cell phones came out en mass, I resisted the urge to join the always accessible crowd and held on tight to my deck-o-cards sized beeper. When I finally caved and signed my life away for a plan, everyone was relieved. (Not that I understood why. My phone rarely rang at home. I had to be reminded of my social status en route now?)

Blogging started getting hot in the early part of the millennium. I joined the fracas in 2008, the beginning of 2008, but still, the newness had worn off and now, when I tell people I blog, the responses are usually, "You too? My DOG has his own blog." (I refrain from asking for the dog's IP address, but my curiosity is peaked. "Bow wow, old friend, bow wow.")

I get it. I'm behind in the trends. I completely dodged the My Space frenzy, but got cornered with Facebook. John was on it. My best friend was on it. My sister tried to convert me a couple of months ago after she became more active in it. My MOTHER is on it. (I know Facebook was conceived by two guys trying to find ways to network online, but a Jewish mother had to be involved somehow in this, because this thing is right up a Jewish mother's guilt-ridden alley. I'm sure the status updates on her page would be "Jimmy's mom is currently wondering why her son never calls her".)

John finally made up my mind for me. He created my profile last night and told me about it this morning.

Um, thanks? I think.

I mean, it is about time for me to join the millions of others who actually seem to WANT to make contact with old high school cohorts and rekindle old friendships. And I guess now, whenever I answer the question, "Are you on Facebook?", I can stop making faces and gagging noises and start saying "Yes, yes I am."

I logged on this morning with the information John gave me and checked out my page. I have a wall? Okay. And it's white. (Man, even on the WWW, my walls are painted in primer.) Do I need to clean it? No? Then we're good. How many friends do I have? 13? Okay, there were 18 people alone in my wedding party and all but one are still on good terms with me, so what the hell? Oh, wait, there's 14. Now I don't feel like raiding the candy stash in my co-worker's desk. (She's not here. It's implied permission.) (Yes it is.) Wait, now there's 15? Man, who did John send these requests to?

Who is that person? She looks familiar, but trying to identify her by her 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch picture is a little difficult. Oh, she went to my high school? All right, I accept her as a friend. Whoa, someone just gave me a plant! Do I accept it? I'm not good with plants. Do I need to virtually water it and tend to it or just let it die like I do all my others?

I'm being poked?! Why would anyone want to poke anyone else? That's kind of twisted. Oh, there's other applications I can add. I can give a beer to people. I can give hugs. I can give high fives.(groan).. What kind of Sesame Street character would I be? Oscar the Grouch is looking pretty good right now.

So many possibilities. So little interest. I think I need to make my own applications.

Maybe I can get a Facebook pet. You know, a hamster or something that would go out to other people's pages and crap on their walls or chew through their Wall-O-flower arrangements.

Or maybe I can send a virtual bitch-slap. Why hasn't this person responded to any of my requests? Whack! Oh, so my beer that I oh, so generously clicked on and spammed all my "friends" with is not good enough for you? Double Whack! Now, THIS has my interest.

The more pages I look at, the more confused I am. My sister's-in-law page alone is full of drek like What kind of perfume are you? and Wall-o-candy. Why would someone send me a virtual Mounds bar when 1. I can get it from the vending machine myself (Read: co-worker's desk) (IMPLIED PERMISSION!!) and 2. I can only accept said virtual calories and pretend to enjoy them or put them on my Wall of Crap I Can't Touch so my viewing public or "friends" can see how loved I am and how wide my virtual hips are?

And, from what I hear, people are starting to take Facebook seriously. John doesn't really like to be poked, hugged, sneezed at, beer'ed, shaken, stirred, farted on, etc. He just likes to keep up with people. So, he usually ignores or refuses when someone sends a little momento of their thoughts his way. Some people have taken this rejection to heart, thinking John was upset with them, or mad at them, going so far as to call me up and ask if they're on the outs with my geek. Um, yeah.

And where is the supposed networking this site is supposed to be all about? I mean, I wouldn't send a potential boss or client a hug... Or would I?

So, enough of my ranting. I am now on Facebook. Come be a friend. Just don't poke me. Or send me a kiss. No hugs either. And nix on the beer. In fact, don't do anything. Just be still on my friends list and we'll get along just fine.

Cripes, next thing you know, they'll have me twittering..

August 05, 2008

Spreading the Linky Love

While doing my usual blog hopping this morning, I stumbled upon one of my regular check-ins with Wendy over at Notes from the Sleep Deprived. (Love the title of her blog. Reminds me of napping.) She was referencing A "Blog The Recession" event hosted and sponsored by Motherhood Uncensored.

Here's the premise. (At least I hope it's the premise. If not, just cut me out as the middle man and link to Motherhood Uncensored so I feel like less of a tool. Thanks.)

Some blogs use ads as a revenue base to supplement their income (or afford that one latte a month). These blogs with ads depend on large amounts of traffic, not necessarily clicking on the ads, but just linking to the blog itself for a little bit of coinage to collect in their change purse. It helps the bloggers out just a tad with the recession we're going through (and we ARE in a recession!) or at least gives them that extra shot of caffeine to make the big bad recession go away a little bit.

Granted, my blog does not run ads. I don't believe I have the traffic necessary to make a dent in my recession reduced budget, but a lot of the blogs on my sidebar do run ads and have a lot of followers (as they should). And a majority of these bloggers are SAHM's (Stay At Home Moms for those not in with the childrearing lingo) and even one or two SAHD's.

So, to keep walking a straight line here, the goal is this: link to the blogs, spread the linky love, you don't have to click the ads, or even leave a comment if you just prefer to lurk, but at least give those blogs a shot, so they can buy theirs.

Update! Linking to the blog means going directly to it, not just reading it off your feedburner if you subscribe. Besides, sometimes, you need the atmosphere of all the pretty graphics on the masthead to get you in the mood. Ya know? Thanks to Wendy for pointing that out.

And you may even discover a blog you've never read before.

What? Like you have something else to do with your day?