Sprite's Keeper

Chime In: My Favorite Toy

Good morning, bloggy world! It's me, Sprite!

Mommy and Daddy are sleeping in today and she left her new laptop in my room last night (You would think she knew better. She doesn't.) so I'm cruising the web and stalking the Disney sites for games and I came across Boondock Ramblings on Mommy's favorites and found this: Chime In. And this week? They're talking about toys! I'm an expert in toys! I have a PHD in Princess History Dynamics specializing in the Disney era! And technically, this is my blog. Sure, my mom writes everything in it, but the true ownership is right there in the name. Sprite's Keeper. Sprite's. Mine. Go ahead. Argue with me. You won't win.

Anyway, I wanted to show you some of my favorite toys and I have pictures to make you jealous too.

First, my tub toys:

 

If you look closely, five of the Seven Dwarfs are represented. I'm not sure about one of them, but Dopey was getting Soapy when the picture was taken, so his absence is accounted for. (You wanna know how I got the Dwarfs? Great story. When Mommy and Daddy took me to Disney World, I picked up the Dwarf set and walked out of the store. Mommy and Daddy had to hurry up and pay for it before Mickey sent his "special staff". I was also eying a Cinderella Castle lego set, but it was too big to carry..)

Next up is the Princess collection:

 

I happen to love my Princess dolls, but I do let Mommy play too. In fact, she took them a few days ago for a little while while I was napping. (I totally saw her do it.)

Of course, my second favorite toy is my doll Minnie Mouse. In the pink dress, of course.

 

She even gets the special chair.

But my favorite toy?

My favorite toy does't need batteries, doesn't break, and always wants to play:

 

He's also good for a bed when we're out:

 

Very comfy. He's a multi-purpose toy!

So, there you go. My favorite toys. Have a good weekend and tell Ms. Lisa's boy Jonathan I said "hi"!

This may not help the defense of High Fructose Corn Syrup..

"Welcome to the Toddler's Tiki Bar. What would you like to drink, Miss?"

 

"I'll try that new tropical punch."

"Miss, it does have High Fructose Corn Syrup."

"So?"

"It may cause excitable behavior and we're not licensed for tantrums."

"Nah, I'll be fine."

 

"Here you go."

"Oh, thank you very much!"

 

"Mmm. Hm."

 

"Wow, Minnie, this is really good. You can't even taste the corn syrup. I don't know what those critics are talking about, I don't feel weird."

 

"Mm. Must keep drinking!"

 

"This is the best juice I've ever had!" *

 

"And the flower straw just makes it so much better!"

 

"La-la-la love it! Woo! I'm ready to play!"

  

"I love you, man!"

 

"Er, Miss? You're hugging a column."

"Wha? No, I'm not! Just bring me another tropical punch!"

"Sorry, Miss. One drink limit."

 

"Noooooooo!"

"Miss, the sign on the door says no tantrums. You'll need to take that elsewhere."

*(Technically, the "juice" only contained about 5% real juice.)

Diaper Duty

 

 

Rupert: Dude, what happened to you?

Bear: Sprite and her mothering phase.

Rupert: Man, sucks to be you.

 

Bear: Oh, yeah. It's Huggies Hell over here.

 

Rupert: Elmo, ouch! That kind of derails his Potty Time DVD, huh?

 

Bear: Even the cheetah got diapered.

Rupert: Oh, wait. Here she comes!

 

Sprite:: Bear, time for dinner!

 

Sprite: Here you go, Bear. Good boy!

 

Sprite: Bear want more? Lemme get some more crackers.

 

Rupert: Hm, free food with the diaper?

Bear: The good thing about being pampered is, well,  you get to be pampered.

 

Sprite: Rupert! You went on the carpet! Bad bear! You need a diaper, then you go to time out!

 

Rupert: Dude, what about the food?

 

Rupert: I thought there was a snack involved. What up?

Bear: (snicker) Man,sucks to be you.

Rupert: Shut up.

Sprite's First Spin

Ooh! I want to be on the Spin Cycle! I can do songs too!

Hm, should I sing Itsy Bitsy Spider? Or maybe Wheels on the Bus?

Or.... no. Too expected from a toddler. I want to dazzle them. Hm...

Oh, I know!

If Disney is looking for a new Princess, my schedule is clear.

Ulterior Motives

 

I love you, Daddy.

 

Kisses, Daddy! Wanna play a game?

   

Let's play, Daddy! Daddy ears?

 

Daddy mouth?

 

Daddy teeth! Ha! Got in!

 

Hi, Uncle Peto! Let's play a game! Peto nose?

 

Peto mouth?

 

Peto teeth? (Hee hee!)

 

No, no! Get back here!

 

Ha! I win again!

 

Hm, who else? I need a challenge.. Ooh! I know!

 

Baby Ali, wanna play a game?

Learner's Permit

 

Ooh, the new hybrid model is out!

 

Sorry about your arm, sweetie. I'll be but a few minutes! (Pffft!)

 

(That's right. Walk away, chickie.)

Wow, it backs up so smoothly. Very easy on the feet!

 

Manual steering. Simple... I like that.

 

No blind spots. Open air conditioning. Wonderful for Florida.

 

The only problem is planning how big a tantrum I need to throw to bring this home with me..

Election

We interrupt the regularly scheduled posting to bring you a special live event.

We're here at Sprite's World headquarters where Sprite is engaged in a political battle to keep her status and namesake alive as Elmo tries to take the title and change Sprite's World into a vacation retreat for neighboring Elmo's World.

We go now to the Debates already in progress.

Moderator: Sprite, this first question is yours. What do you plan to do about the toy crisis of 2008?

Sprite: Thank you Moderator, thank you Sprite's World headquarters for hosting this debate, and thank you for the really yummy cookies in the green room. They were really good! Thank you Mommy for dressing me this morning. Thank you lady in the green dress in the front row for smiling. You look like a nice lady. Thank you, good old sun-

Moderator: Sprite, the question?

Sprite: Yes..... Um, what was the question?

Elmo: Elmo objects!

Sprite: I haven't said anything yet.

Elmo: You were going to.

Sprite: But you don't know what I was-

Elmo: Elmo objects!

Moderator: Elmo, you need to give Sprite an opportunity to answer the question. Wait your turn, please.

Elmo: ....

Sprite: Thank you. As I was saying, I- um...hm.. What was the question?

Moderator: The toy crisis.

Sprite: Yes, the toy crisis. That stinks, doesn't it?

Moderator: Is that your answer?

Sprite: ....Okay.

Moderator: Elmo, your turn.

Elmo: Elmo has been paying close attention to the toy crisis. Elmo thinks more toys need to be made to make sure every kid out there has a chance to play. Elmo's looking out for the children.

Moderator: Was that your answer?

Elmo: Um, no. Elmo has more, but Elmo will have to get back to you.

Moderator: Sprite, do you have a rebuttal?

Sprite: What about my butt?

Moderator: Er, allow me to rephrase. Do you have a response to Elmo's statement?

Sprite: Yes. I don't think any more toys need to be made. I think more kids need to.. um, learn how to share. Yeah.

Elmo: Elmo thinks so too.

Sprite: You can't do that!

Elmo: Um, Sprite?

Sprite: What?

Elmo: Elmo just did.

Moderator: Sprite, the next question is yours as well.... Sprite?

Sprite: Hm?

Moderator: Sprite, were you paying attention?

Sprite: Yes?

Moderator: Please put down the cookie while the debate is in progress. You can have it in a few minutes. As for your question-

Sprite: (Munch munch)

Moderator: - (Sigh) Sprite, there has been a large response to your End to Nap campaign. Where do you stand on that issue at this time?

Sprite: I oppose it.

Elmo: Elmo ob-JECTS! Big time!

Sprite: Give me a chance to explain!

Elmo: Sprite herself made a public service announcement trying to put an end to nap times for toddlers! She can't take that back! Make her say it!

Moderator: Elmo, please calm down.

Elmo: No fair!

Sprite: I made the public service announcement as a favor to my agent, Rupert. When I heard that the majority of children out there still favor nap times, I chose to listen to my public, fire my agent, and shut down the campaign. I'm looking out for the children.

Elmo: Sprite can't say that. Elmo already said that.

Sprite: Pfft!

Moderator: Sprite, no spitting! Elmo, stop climbing on the lectern!

Sprite: Yeah, ELMO.

Elmo: Take that back!

Sprite: No!

Elmo: Yes!

Moderator: Enough! Do not make me count to three!

Elmo: Sorry.

Sprite: Sorry.

Moderator: Elmo, what is your stance on lowering the voting age from 18 years to 18 months?

Elmo: Elmo thinks it's a good idea. The issues Elmo is concerned with are the issues that all toddlers and preschoolers need to be educated on.

Moderator: Sprite, same question.

Sprite: No, the voting age should not be lowered. Mommies and daddies are responsible for their kids and should be respected to make the right choices for their children. Always for the children.

Elmo: Stop using Elmo's slogan!

Moderator: I will count to three!

Sprite: Elmo, think of the children...

Elmo: Elmo thinks Sprite isn't playing fair!

Moderator: One...!

Sprite: Two, three, four, five, six-

Moderator: That's it! Time out!

Elmo: Elmo doesn't think a time out can be called in a debate.

Moderator: Fine. Elmo, your closing statement.

Elmo: Today, you all are being asked to make a big decision that would impact your world. It would impact Elmo's world. And hopefully widen Elmo's world to include a theme park in 2012. Your vote today is a vote for Elmo, a vote for Elmo's World, a vote for the children. This debate was brought to you today by the letter V. For victory.

Moderator: Sprite, your closing statement.

Sprite: To all kids going to the polls, tell your mommies and daddies to vote for Sprite or you'll throw the biggest tantrum they've ever seen. It's up to you to "rock the vote". And you'll get a cookie too!

Elmo: Sprite, you can't promise that!

Sprite: Elmo?

Elmo: Yes?

Sprite: Sprite just did.

Moderator: Ladies and gentlemen, it seems both candidates are in need of a nap. We now return you to your regularly scheduled posting already in progress...

 

"The Ugly Pumpkin"

 

Sprite: Come on, Kayla! We need to find a pumpkin!

Kayla: Hold on, your mommy is taking our picture!

Sprite: I forgot this is your first photo essay. Don't look at the camera, just act like she's not there.

Kayla: Okay.

 

Sprite: I'm gonna check this area out.

 

Sprite: Wow, look at the acne on this one!

 

Sprite: I want a special pumpkin. One that doesn't look like all the others.

 

Sprite: Are you taking a break already?

Kayla: I found my pumpkin. I'm done.

Sprite: But the photo essay isn't.

Kayla: My agent said "cameo appearance". I'm only getting scale. Therefore you're only getting 15 minutes from me.

 

Sprite: What about a small one?

 

Sprite: Hey, a duck! A weird duck..

 

Sprite: Hi, duck! Can you talk? Can you say "quack"?

 

Sprite: How about an apple slice?

 

Sprite: Wait a minute, this isn't a duck. It doesn't have legs, therefore it doesn't walk like a duck. It doesn't have a beak, therefore it doesn't talk like a duck. So, it must be a pumpkin!

 

Sprite: I made my choice. Into the wagon you go.

 

 

Sprite: Okay, parting shot. Kayla! Get in the picture!

Kayla: Scale!

Sprite: Spoilsport..

Public Service Announcement

Good morning. As the ambassador and namesake of Sprite's World, I am here to speak to you about a troubling matter affecting toddlers all over the world.

My council has spent minutes upon minutes researching a troubling epidemic sweeping the world and I am using my status to speak out against this horrible and unjust practice.

In fact, my own behavior was called into question during the 2008 Emmy Awards. Therefore, I have taken personal responsibility for calling attention to this hated condition.

I'm talking about naps. Naps are the number one cause of disrupted play time among children ages 1 through 4. Naps have been responsible for lost play time, lost tv time, lost reading time, and most importantly, lost doggie hunting time.

Due to this deplorable system of parent enforced slumber, toddlers have had to endure hours of nursery rhymes and misdiagnoses of "She's tired" and "He needs a nap" when the child is only trying to explore their world, their community, protect the environment, etc. Children are missing opportunities to learn, to express their individuality,  and express their emotions with these daily snoozes.

Plus, after nap times, toddlers have been documented to be quiet, reserved, and stationary when there are walls to be colored, songs to be screamed, snacks to demand. This had led to earlier bedtimes, missed opportunities to test the limits, and less activity as a whole. I have spoken at length with random groups of toddlers who are "tired" of this treatment and are looking for solutions.

I am asking all toddlers out there to join the effort to abolish nap times, for these alleged "nap times" are mere ruses for an even worse affliction, parental free time.

Have you ever wondered what your parents do when you are banned to your room? Have you ever wondered if they're truly sleeping as they promise you they are? I cannot count the number of times - I can't count, but that's irrelevant- that my own parents have told me that they themselves are going to sleep and the dogs are going to sleep and all my Minnie's have already fallen asleep in an effort to have me lay down in the middle of the day.

Yet, after they leave my room, if I listen very carefully, I hear Blue's collar jangling or Harry growling, or Mommy and Daddy talking. And sometimes laughing! Having fun! Without me!

We have confirmed findings that parental free time can lead to refreshed adults, destruction of carefully placed toy masterpieces, and worst of all, a possible sibling.

So, please, take the time you would normally set aside for napping and join me in fighting this enemy of energy. Together, we can all sandblast the Sandman and take back our toddlerhood.

It's time to put naps to sleep.

Now is not the time to give zzzz's a chance.

Thank you.

This message paid for and approved by Sprite.

So there.

Okay, so we may have kept her out a LITTLE bit past her bedtime..

 

So, Pooh, this is your bed, huh? Looks comfy. Lots of cars. They look fast too. Oh! Is that what they mean by "fast asleep"?

 

Here, how about a hug? That's right, nice and friendly-like.

 

You don't mind sharing, do you?

 

I mean it. Stop struggling!

 

Bear, you're going down!

 

I think I'm going to test out this "fast asleep" theory.

 

Sorry, Pooh, but there's only room for one of us and I toss and turn a lot.

 

Don't worry, old bear. There's a pot of honey in it for ya... (Yawn).

I'll get it tomorr....zzzz.